When You Don't Fit the Bigger Picture

In the middle of the Bible history books, we come to a little 4-chapter book called Ruth. Scholars don't know what to do with it, even in my reading assignments, Ruth doesn't have an overall theme to explore. The book becomes incorporated into the history book section but simply because it doesn't fit into any other category. It is a book that tells a story but doesn't necessarily move the whole of the Bible story forward. It just sits there, taunting scholars to define it.

Ironically, Ruth and Esther, another book that stumps scholars into easily categorizing, are my favourite Bible stories. Perhaps I like them because the entire books are written about women. In a chauvinistic culture, these books elevate the status and role of women in God's story. I am a woman on mission to find significance and influence and I'm passionate about women roles within leadership, church and the world, but I think there is more.

Ruth gives value and a voice to those who feel like they don't fit in. I was at a wedding on Saturday. I can't remember a time in recent history when I've felt so acutely out of place. There was a lot of self-talk in the car before I was able to walk into the room with confidence. As a friend within a small crowd of family, I was asked how I fit into the story of the wedding couple's story. I don't think it was a coincidence that my Scripture reading plan brought me to the book of Ruth. Unable to clearly define the book of Ruth brings comfort to me when seemingly random events outside of the 'bigger picture' take place. It brings comfort when my entire life seems outside the larger story of God's story.

Ruth also offers us insight and hope. The book of Judges ends the narrative with the words, "everyone did as he saw fit," and Ruth begins, "In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land." Famine wasn't supposed to happen in the promised land. Famine was a curse that would come to pass if the people failed to keep the covenant. A sure indication that the covenant was not kept was found in the last line of Judges, "everyone did as he saw fit."

The covenant was built on community. Women, by nature, are community-driven and community-focussed. I think Ruth is an example of hope that community still exists within the larger story, when the rest of the evidence isn't so obvious.

Without dwelling on the obvious negative actions: famine, Elimelech moving his family to the Godless country of Moab, and taking Moabite women as wives for his sons, the story of Ruth is an expression of covenant community lived at the ideal level. It is hopeful. The story binds woman to woman, foreigner to national, it seeks the best interest of the widow and the needy. And once again, God brings a covenant community out of a culture that didn't acknowledge him. Once again, God calls us first into a relationship with him.

Ruth may be a side-step for scholars but I think Ruth provides a dialogue and an invitation for the outsider.

I'm an outsider by choice, she said, but I'm hoping that won't be my choice forever. ~Brian Andreas

le Perfumerie

During the Olympics, I took my family downtown Vancouver to catch some of the Olympic spirit that seemed to fill every nook, cranny and crevice. The crowd was impressive, assaulting all the senses – sight, sound, touch, taste, smell; especially the smells. We walked by a little Lebanese hole in the wall twice before being compelled to stop. The smell emanating from the doorway was warm and delicious, inviting us to partake. And after 20 minutes in a line, we finally had the source of the mouth-watering smell in our hands. The taste? Let’s just say the taste fell exceedingly short.

Scripture says we are the aroma, the fragrance of Christ. The fragrance of Christ isn’t a product that can bottled, sold and worn; it’s something that we are. The verb, to be. Often I have a strong temptation to act like a sweet fragrance, but when the end result is appearance or facade, I am [to others] like the disappointment we experienced when we tasted the shawarma. The Lord is good. My fragrance should be also.

There are 600 people at the conference this weekend. I see the familiar nametags everywhere I look in the hotel, nearby restaurants and I wonder do the people serving us smell and taste the goodness of the Lord? Gary once told me that the staff at the Pan Pacific Hotel dread Missions Fest weekend at the Convention Centre because the Christians that come from all over the world have an attitude of entitlement. They are demanding and cheap.

Today, for the final day of the conference, the perfume bottle stays untouched. I’m going to be a different kind of fragrance.

Last night I was talking with a friend and I was remembering an incident when my enemy tried to entangle me in the bondage of unforgiveness. I remember the moment clearly, I even remember where I was standing in the apartment we lived in downtown. The familiar feeling was quick to rise up, seemingly starting in my belly and moving towards a hot flush on my face. I felt the anger and indignation flare up and momentarily I gave into it there, but instead of allowing my pride to consume me, I overcame. It was a significant moment, because I have not been tempted in that way again. (to be sure, it was a specific incident, and surely I still struggle with forgiveness in many other areas)

If God could work in me once like that, he can surely work in me again but I fear I've been like Gideon, wasting time until there is no choice for me but to act.

I've been reading a book by Donald Miller, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" and I'm impacted by Miller's explanation of story and the significance of an inciting incident, a catalyst that moves the story forward.

The year that I've taken out of leadership to pursue God has not been exactly what I thought it would be. I'm looking towards the year's deadline and I am not sure I accomplished what I thought I would accomplish but I do pray that this is an inciting incident in my life and that going forward, I will not waste time any longer but I will act.

Today, I want to see Jesus. A while back, Max asked me if when I say that I'm going to see Jesus, if I really see him. I answered yes to him, but it's been a long time since I've had a vision of Jesus. I want to see him today. I'm confident Jesus will be where I'm going to be, I pray that I'll have the eyes to see him.

Worshipping the Golden Calf

The grass is always greener on the other side. As far as academic education was concerned, I was on the outside looking in. I have an experience of God, but I felt that I was missing something vital by lack of knowledge. I thought by participating in Bible School with bona fide Bible Instructors, I would experience an elation that [I thought] so far has eluded me. I learned differently. My short sprint along the sidelines of higher education has caused me to retreat back into the all-knowing arms of God. What I observed in the lives of some of the student body and in the required written works was knowledge without experience. They had the answers but lacked passion and zeal. I am reminded of the story of Mary, Martha and Jesus. “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.” To put it in other words, “Scholar, Scholar, you are consumed with the pursuit of knowledge, but only one thing is needed [to sit at the feet of Jesus and experience him.]” I am also reminded by the Paul’s writing, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”

This week, dated February 7, 2010, one of the posted secrets found on the Post Secret blog was from a fellow that said, “the real reason I backed out of seminary is that I knew it would destroy my belief in God.” I wondered how a married gay man, in a homosexual relationship for more than 20 years could graduate with a Masters of Divinity from Harvard University, know so much about the Old Testament but not know God personally. How could noted theologians with written volumes penned by them, know so much but lack expressive awe at the wonder of God’s design? Why are written works dry and stale? Yes, the books and written works educate people but they do little else to inflame a passion for the subject of their writing. I had a fantasy to enter the holy land of academia and be filled with the spirit by being in the epicentre of Bible understanding but what I found was the disillusion that knowledge breeds cynicism and apathy and speaking for the sake of speaking but not really experiencing God in a meaningful way. I am concerned for my son that some of these students will one day be his Pastor.

Let me clarify and state clearly that Bible knowledge and education is not negative in every way. Wiser men and women have gone before me and helped shape my experience of God. I appreciate Jerry Pauls and Johnny Cisneros because their passion, enthusiasm, and experience of Jesus act as bookends for their considerable knowledge and education. Others, whom I do not have personal interaction, also display an appropriate outward expression towards the subject of their academic pursuit but I argue that academic rhetoric does not encourage a personal experience of God.

Academic rhetoric reduces God as someone omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent, in other words, someone that is clearly removed and far above humans. However, in class Jerry offered a different aspect of God, and that as defined by relationship with his creation, namely human beings. Revolutionary? Perhaps to some, but not to those who have experienced God in a relationship. Last week, I was having the very same theological conversation with my son - he’s 8. I impressed on him that although God is all of those things - omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent he is first about relationship with us. That kind of knowledge is transformational and experiential. It doesn’t allow the person who grips this truth to remain as they were before.

Even as I write, I wonder to myself, “What’s my beef?” I think it in part has to do with the academic culture itself. Each generation is changing, but the institution of education hasn’t done much changing since inception. Students learn how to write a paper (double-spaced, 12-point font, avoid personal pronouns). Students learn how to read their instructor better than they learn to read Bible and discern truth. Students learn how to cite references and only use credible and proven references but where are original thought and personal revelation and experience? John wrote, “Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded…,” why does the academic community believe that Jesus has stopped displaying miracles to modern-day disciples?

The truth is, I feel foolish for aspiring to be something I’m not called to be. I am not a scholar and clearly the arena where I will serve in ministry will not be in academia. I feel as if I’ve been rebuked by the LORD himself for not believing him when he says to me, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great, unsearchable things you do not know.” Much of what I’ve heard in academic teaching has only been affirming what the Lord has personally already told me. Why do I mistrust what the Lord says to me? Why do I need validation from an academic body? Why, why, why, why, why? I am rebuked and ashamed and I must confess the misuse of the spiritual gifts the Lord is developing in me, and that the gift of revelation. I am thankful for affirmation and consensus from Godly (and knowledgeable) men & women, just so I know that I’m on the right track but I’ve been worshipping academia as if it was the golden calf.

Oh, I have loved/am continuing to love dipping my toes into the world of academic knowledge. I feel privileged for the opportunity. It has been a worthwhile experience and I will take away much. I have undoubtedly increased knowledge so that my experience with and of the Lord will be greater and more enriched. I have also seen the faces of the church that will stand in the generations to come. I can pray for them by name, asking God to increase not only their knowledge but more importantly their experience of him. I am thankful to God for letting me experience the joy of going to school and the frustration in learning that it wasn’t all that I fantasized. He is always so patient with me, allowing me to test every boundary, so that I’m certain once again all I need is him.

What's in a Name?

I was about 10 weeks pregnant with my first child at the time. Gary and I hadn’t told anybody yet. Well actually, we had told some people, but only random strangers. We enjoyed having a secret; something to share with each other that was just ours. Nobody knew …and then a friend popped by the apartment and he saw a baby naming book lying on the coffee table. He correctly made the connection and he told two people, who told two people and so on. It wasn’t too long before almost everyone knew and it wasn’t a secret any longer. Almost immediately, we were asked the question, “What are you going to name the baby?” Hmmm, that was a difficult question. Baby naming is not as easy a task as one might think. Do you pick a random name from a book? After a deceased relative? After someone famous? Perhaps a Biblical name (for those that are a little more spiritual than the rest)? There’s a lot of pressure to pick the right name. And then when you finally pick a name, you have to sound it out with the last name; does it have the right feel when said out loud? What are the possible nicknames? How much difficulty will your child have in spelling their own name throughout their life? The list of questions, possibilities and scenarios that played through my mind as we picked the name for our child was long. However, never in our entire baby-naming decision making did I ever consider that the name we choose will bear our son’s character.

Current baby-naming practices are far removed from naming practices in the ancient world. Names indicated a person’s character. To know a person’s name was akin to an intimate exchange. God is one God who is called by many names; each name describes an attribute of him. In Genesis, we are introduced to him by several names, but not by YHWH, the name he calls himself. Yahweh, or LORD as our English Bible distinguishes it, means ‘the One who causes to exist’. The LORD introduced his name to Moses when Moses questions the LORD as to why God sent him to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave Egypt. The audacity of the request only fuelled Pharaoh’s anger and their oppression was made worse. The LORD’s response is to tell Moses his name, satisfying the complaint that he will act to fulfill the covenant he made with Abraham.

In class, we discussed covenant as resolution to exile crisis. However, before introducing crisis and resolution, before rectifying the “aloneness” of man, before all of that, God whose name is YHWH, created male and female to bear his image, his character, which is covenantal. Covenant is the basic issue of human life because covenanting, or “othering” to borrow a term from Walter Brueggemann, is part of our DNA. Brueggerman further writes, “this work of othering is inescapable because this process of interaction is the awesome truth of our life.” We can’t escape it.

There is no where we can go without encountering YHWH. Psalm 139 echoes feelings of elation and frustration in the totality of the LORD’s active presence. The Psalmist writes about the security of being hemmed in. The words conjure up visual images of being cocooned, warmth and acceptance, and in almost the same breath, the feeling of suffocation by not being able to loosen the presence, no matter where you go. A covenant relationship encompasses the life of those defined by the covenant; both parties live in relation to each other, unless there is a breach in the covenant.

Certainly this is an awesome theology if lived out to the fullest extent of the covenant promises; a theology that acts as a magnet to attract others. It’s not really a stretch for the mind to understand why humankind yearns for a covenantal agreement with the LORD. For those whose eyes are opened to discern the fallen/exiled state of humankind, we acknowledge we need a greater hope if there is supposed to be more. The amazing, incredible, radical, revolutionary aspect about the covenant is that the LORD enters into a covenant with us. The words of David come to mind, “What is man that you are mindful of him?” It truly is a mystery, and yet, going back to the beginning at the creation of male and female in the image of God, the LORD, we have our answer. God is relational and he chose us. Awesome!

During the discussion in class, a student offered the observation that perhaps we enter into a covenantal agreement without understanding the stipulations and requirements. Indeed. Marriage is the most formal covenant I’ve entered. I was 21; in hindsight, just a child to be able to make such a significant decision. Through fits and starts and near dissolution, I’ve learned a great deal about covenant and how serious the LORD considers the pledge. Ignorance does not release you from the covenant.

As we’ve read and reflected on the response by the exiled people, they are ignorant and perplexed. In my mind, I hear the whine of a child say, “But, I didn’t kno-oh!” And then, they want to know is that is for them? Is the game over? Has the covenant been nullified?

If we refer back to Leviticus, the LORD promises that he will remember his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and he will remember the land if they confess their sin and humble themselves. All of the curses outlined in verses 14-39 of the same chapter have come true. They have been scattered, humiliated, made to suffer 7x over but still there is hope. Additionally, the Davidic covenant establishes a King will reign from David’s line forever. The promise of an everlasting kingdom is not dependant on whether the Israelites keep the conditions of the covenant. So there is hope and restoration promised throughout the covenant despite their exile.

The question that still needs to be answered is where is the presence of the LORD? The disobedience which caused the exile nullified the portion of the covenant which promised God’s presence among them, so a new covenant is required. Jeremiah makes a proclamation of a new covenant, which is futuristic. It’s relevant to note the approximate date that Jeremiah was prophet to Judah. His prophetic ministry ends shortly after the capture of Jerusalem to Babylon, and the destruction of the temple. This is extremely hopeful news. Even as the old covenant was being broken, the LORD provides a new covenant, which reinforces his intention to be personal with his people. No longer will the law [of the covenant] be written on tablets of stone, known only by the officiating priests, but the new covenant includes everyone, from the least of them to the greatest.

This is good news! We are the church, we are the temple! No longer is there a circumcision of the body, but we have a circumcision of the heart. Our outward appearance should be modest, but we are no longer defined by physical appearance but by the fruit of the spirit, and we have all been made ministers of the covenant. Each one has the ability to know God. What puzzles me is why there isn’t a great return to the LORD in light of this new theology, the new way of thinking and relating to God. The presence of the LORD is among us. Emmanuel was the name given to Jesus – God with us. He made his dwelling with humans, and then he promised the Spirit when he ascended back to heaven. The covenant, although not completely fulfilled is imminent.

YHWH was the LORD’s response to Moses’ complaint. Emmanuel answers the question, where is God’s presence? What’s in a name? A lot is turns out. In the LORD’s name we have the answer to our crisis and the promise of a covenant fulfilled.

You Can Never Go Home Again

“In the exile and beyond it, Judaism was born.” Hmm, it’s a sweep-all statement, and I’m not certain it’s entirely accurate. My argument is not to define a precise moment or event in history when the statement might be true, but to examine the effect of the exile on the Israelites at the time, and reach into the story to discover an application for today’s Christians. Exile, whether literal or figurative, self-imposed or forced, is at the root of spiritual growth and maturity. Perhaps that is what the opening statement alludes. It is when we are in exile that we wrestle with the “big” issues in life. Who am I? Who is God? Why am I in this place? Does anyone care that I’m in this place? Jeremiah, the prophet tells us that God says to us, “Call to me and I will answer and tell you great unsearchable things you do not know.” Exile forces us to ask the deeper questions, and God promises an answer. One thing I will say is certain: once you’ve been exiled, you can never go home again.

The patriarch Jacob offers insight into the overall sense of complacency that the Israelites had just prior to their exile in 597BC. God established a covenant with Abraham, to him and all his descendants afterward. Jacob, born two generations later, understood the covenant and grew up under it but never quite grasped the impact. I read the narrative of Jacob and imagine he grew up with a sense of self-importance and entitlement. The arrogance of his actions supports my assumption. However, there comes a time when every person must wrestle with the faith of their heritage, and/or lack thereof, to conclude their own theology. For Jacob, this meant literally wrestling with God. Once he emerged from the wrestling match, Jacob was impacted physically and spiritually. Shortly after, Jacob sets up an altar and calls it God of the God of Israel. God became personal to him.

Likewise, the Israelites must go through a period of self-examination. One would think that the Exodus and the following 800 years would have been sufficient testing ground, but sometimes rock-bottom is lower for some than it is for others. Much commentary abounds on the subject of the exile, but the Scripture say very little about the time period itself. What we learn from the biblical texts are short excerpts of insight into the perspective of the people during the exile. What was the experience for the Israelites? In a word, horrific. The atrocities of conquest and exile can not fully be understood by our modern North American culture because we do not have a personal point of reference, however, the writers of Lamentations and Psalms refer to the horror of starvation, violent death, and exposure but they seem to give greater weight to deeper spiritual anguish to the themes of being unclean, sacrilege and nakedness.

Nonetheless, cast out of their land, they are forced to deal with issues that until then had been left unexamined, namely, what it really means to be holy and how will they define themselves from among the nations. Perhaps the question that needs to be answered first is do they want to be a people set apart from the other nations? And if yes, how will that look? How the questions were answered creates a framework for modern day followers of Jesus, which will be discussed further along.

Psalm 44 offers us an appreciation of their spiritual state at the time of exile. The first 8 verses acknowledge the Lord as their shield and protector, by his power the land was won. In essence they rested in the covenantal promise of God to bring them into the land that was promised them but they don’t acknowledge their own participation in the covenantal agreement. By a broad, general statement, you could say in all those years, they didn’t make a personal covenant to God and therefore they did not uphold to God’s oft repeated command, “Be holy because I am holy.” The text following verse 8, indicate a lack of self-awareness as if they had no responsibility for their own exile. The writer wonders why they have been ruined and destroyed and they are perplexed. They speak to God as though he is like other gods, who sleep and turn their attention away. Prior to the exile, they lived so long with the worship of other gods among their people that they project onto the one true God the limitations of other gods. In the words of Paul , they knew God but didn’t glorify him, or give thanks to him so their thinking became foolish.

Throughout the exilic poetry texts we find a complete gamut of human emotion. Often they are like a petulant child, they sulk and complain. They lay blame on everyone. They are shamed and humiliated by their exposure in front of their enemies. They cry out for vindication and revenge. They have blind hope as one hopes for a winning lottery ticket – hope but not the faith to back it up. They second guess the promise, and wonder if God has renounced his covenant. But in the midst of their self-pity, we see evidence of confession and repentance. And that is place where theology is transformed. What emerges is a faith that is refined, tested and found true. I’m certain many fell away from their faith, believing that God had abandoned them, just like many fall away from the church during trial and testing, but those that persevere experience the presence of God within their testing and the faith that remains is more resilient than ever before.

When my son was in grade 1, we rented a classic kid’s movie from my own childhood, The Goonies. It’s a wonderful movie about a group of kids embarking on an adventure. I thought my son would enjoy the movie. What I didn’t remember was the scary-looking ‘freak’, or the numerous exposure the kids have with dead bodies and other scary scenes. Finally, at a crucial but frightening scene by son is beside himself with fear and can’t bear to watch anymore. Unfortunately, my son didn’t witness the resolution or see how all the scary scenes tied in at the end. Even to this day, the movie remains at the crisis point for my son.

Similar to my son’s unresolved fear produced by watching The Goonies, the Israelites are still without a resolution from the exile. Several times God made covenant with his chosen people, and each time, he added into the covenant and filled in some of the framework of the original covenant . In particular God builds on the promise of land to dwell, freedom/peace from their enemies, his presence, their name to be exalted and their being a blessings to the nations. The exile was a terrific reversal of what God promised. By looking through human eyes and understanding, it’s logical to wonder if God had renounced the covenant. Full resolution is still promised, however its conclusion must be viewed through a faithful eternal lens.

Modern day Christianity enters the story in the midst of exile and so we can read the exilic texts with a dual purpose of not only understanding Israelite history but also to give voice to our own experiences. As I’ve mentioned previously, North American Christians have not experienced forced exile but those that come from a Mennonite heritage have heard stories past down from previous generations about their exile from Russia in the pursuit of religious freedom. In the face of land seizures, torture of many kinds, including death and other demeaning acts forced upon them, many Mennonites fled to various parts of North and South America.

Growing up in the shadow of these memories shaped my own theology that our permanent dwelling will not be on earth as we know it now. We are sojourners in this place and one day we will reside in heaven, where we hold citizenship. Many New Testament writers concur , including Jesus when he prayed for the Saints to be protected while they are in the world, even though they are not of the world. There is a glorious resolution that we will one day see, together with the chosen nation of Israel. The new covenant will be fulfilled by the second coming of Jesus, the Messiah.

Until the resolution comes, I compare our generation with the elite that were chosen by Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon , to be integrated and assimilated into the Babylonian culture. Daniel and his friends didn’t experience the turmoil of the exile in the same way as many other Israelites. They were treated as royalty and yet, their names alone are known from among the exiles that were taken to the royal city. Why is that? Perhaps the others had forgotten that they were only exiles and not nationals of Babylon. Perhaps it was because, unlike Daniel, they didn’t spend time offering prayer and the study of Scripture. Daniel read the prophet Jeremiah’s words; he had a holy habit of daily prayer. His future hope was founded on the promises of God and he resolved not to defile himself. In the same way, the ‘prince of this world’ desires to assimilate us into the culture, and by doing so, we’ll forget that we are in exile. We must be like Daniel: work at what God gives us to do, be blameless before both God and men so we will be a blessing and know the blessing of God’s presence.

Humanity has been exiled, restless and scattered almost since the beginning of our story. Is it a problem for humanity? Yes. We want to get back to the place where we feel at home. Is it a problem for the LORD? No. He is our covenant God and he will bring a full resolution, and along the way, he wants to journey with us. For the Israelites, his presence was carried in the Arc of the Covenant, and now it is within our spirit. The presence is with us and our purpose is to go, keep moving. To cease striving [to go back home] and beginning knowing [the hope of our new home]. The place we are moving toward is new creation, not what has already been created. Can we go back to the place we started? No, we can never go [to the old] home again.

“If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you.” ~Oswald Chambers

Leviticus

I can’t recall anyone ever saying, “Leviticus really stands out as a powerful portion of Scripture.” It holds precious little narrative which makes the reading interesting and the rituals seem archaic in today’s culture. My most recent reading of Leviticus has not changed my opinion of the book. I wish I could say that by reading it, I’ve developed a profound sense of understanding, but sadly that hasn’t/wasn’t the case. When I encounter Scripture that doesn’t seem relevant, interesting or applicable, I return to the promise statement from 2 Timothy 3:16, saying that all Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. I challenge the Lord, asking him to reveal insight.

Aside from the lack of personal application I found in reading Leviticus, I found the reading tip I read in “How to Read the Bible Book by Book”, by Gordon Fee & Douglas Stuart to be helpful in stepping back and viewing Leviticus as part of the larger story, taking into account what has just transpired in Exodus and looking forward to the narrative that will pick up again in Numbers.

Insights, Observations & Questions

Sabbath Year

The portion of Leviticus I enjoyed most was reading chapter 25 regarding the Sabbath Year and explanation of the Year of Jubilee. I was reminded of God’s great love because of the personal nature which he fulfilled the Sabbath year in my life.

I’ve already testified to God’s goodness in my marriage, and I’m sure I’ll write about it again. It was so significant to me, it’s been the most important way-marker that I can’t help but refer to the stone that I set up to remember. My marriage wasn’t doing very well in the 2nd year. Somewhere along the line, I remembered [inaccurately] God’s provision for rest in the Sabbath year (the 7th year). Clearly I lacked understanding in what God intended when he gave his command for the Sabbath year (it was intended as rest for the land, for one thing), but even in my spiritual misunderstanding, God answered my prayer for rest. I was weary, so tired in my marriage but I had this forceful idea in mind that if only we could make it to the 7th year, we’d find rest.

I will be forever grateful for the depth of his love. The more that I understand, the greater I know that his patience for us is immeasurable and his love is an ocean. I’m touched as much by the fact that God blessed me, even though I didn’t understand the blessing, as I am by the actual blessing of rest in the 7th year.

The more I grow in knowledge and depth of insight, the more I am aware of my misplaced focus and prayers. James 4:3 says that we don’t receive because we don’t ask, and when we do ask, we ask with the wrong intentions. I’m mindful of the fact that while I only half understood the concept, God answered my prayer, which tells me something about what God hears from our prayer in relation to praying “according to the law”. I feel that by my own example, I’ve witnessed something extraordinary about the fulfilling the requirements of the law and receiving God’s promise, although I really don’t know what it is that I witnesses and I certainly can’t properly explain it. I’m hoping that further exploration of the Scriptures will illuminate the questions and provide satisfactory explanations.

Clean/Unclean

Significant portions of Leviticus are devoted to establishing what was clean and unclean. As much as I am able, I understand the reason for such strict cleansing laws is because God, who is holy, would dwell among them. That thought, in itself, is a revelation and new way of understanding the law, however, my thoughts jump to Jesus, who was a “friend of sinners”. How then, might Jesus by-pass the law? I realize that the Pharisees asked this exact question. Prior to posing the question myself, I thought I had an answer but I don’t. I don’t understand at all.

I have an easier time to explain that Jesus was a friend of sinners in view of his death and resurrection, but not with his life. Jesus was born within a Jewish culture that lived by the law. There are so many cases of Jesus being with unclean people, but the one most quickly comes to mind is the woman who was bleeding for 12 years. She would have probably lived outside of the city, in an isolation/quarantine camp (probably a modern-day slum). To touch someone who was unclean, would deem the ‘clean’ person unclean and would have to wash their clothes and would remain unclean until the evening. How then, could Jesus have carried on with his day, when he was now ‘unclean’. I feel like a juvenile asking the question, but…”Why did Jesus get a free pass when it came to obeying the law?”


Holiness

Discipline is a long, thankless process. Currently, Gary and I are going through a difficult time with Max. Max is a bright boy, he can think strategically and he is spirited and socially engaging and he has a tenacity that can serve him well in life. The trouble we are having is trying to develop Godly character and discipline. At this stage in his life, this means doing the best he can in his school work and respecting his teacher and his school peers by listening and working without being a distraction. This is always a challenge for an active boy, who is already a little younger than most of his classmates.

Several times in recent weeks/months, I’ve felt quite exasperated and frustrated by Max’s behaviour. It feels like an uphill battle, the positive result of which I’m not sure I’m going to witness not because it won’t happen, but I’m sure that character improvement will be best exhibited when he is no longer living at home. Over and over again, I reason with Max, saying the purpose for the rules is because the God, through his Word (Scripture) tells us it’s the right thing to do. In a small comparison, the Lord says something similar in his oft repeated phrase throughout Leviticus, “Be holy because I am holy.” The Lord wanted to develop a people that were set apart, just as he was set apart from other gods. He is Holy, therefore his people were to be holy also.

I take comfort that God understands my frustration, because he has been frustrated. When I want to throw in the towel, and say to Max, “The hell with it, do whatever you want,” the Lord causes me to recall my own rebellious and stubborn nature and the patience and forgiveness he affords me. God’s desire for Israel’s holiness is a theme that continues throughout the OT, and also follows into the NT. He relentlessly disciplines and corrects his people until the day that we will finally stand before his throne having been perfected in holiness, just as he purposed in us. And this evening during family devotions, I was reminded again of the end purpose. Hebrews 12:11, No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

On the lookout for:

• Salt - understanding the impact salt had on as a commodity in the ancient world, as well as the properties of salt that give it value, in light of the Scriptural context and relevance.
• Sabbath rest – rest began as part of life from the beginning and Jesus carries the theme and command in the new covenant as well. I’ll be on the look-out for references to sabbatical rest and wrestling with the practical application of participating in holy rest
• Holy sacrifice – There comes a point in Israel’s history where sacrifice is prohibited, (prophesy found in Daniel). As a Christian, I believe and understand that Jesus was the one sacrifice that was necessary to make a new covenant, but I wonder how that affected the Jews when what set them apart as holy, was taken away. How did they retain God’s presence, if sacrifice was forbidden?
• How did Jesus live within the culture of the law and not break the law?

Exodus

A few weeks before Christmas, the pastor called all the children to the front stage to pray for them and give them an Advent object lesson. He started by asking them to see if they could guess who he was describing and he went on to describe a man as someone who lives very far away with special helpers, he liked to wear red and was a little thick around the middle, probably because he had a sweet tooth for cookies. The man he described had 8 special pets, and it was said he could do magical things like give gifts to all the children in the in one single night. After offering the description, a little girl in the preschool class raised her hand and answered, “I know the answer is supposed to be Jesus, but it sure does sound like Santa Claus.”

I feel like a little like the preschool girl. She was preconditioned to project Jesus into everything she heard and learnt at church, even if it meant to shut off her logical mind. Likewise, as I’ve been reading the Old Testament narrative, I attempt to apply truthful interpretation of the Scripture, but at the same time, every inclination is to apply the narrative as if it was written directly to me and my current life struggle with familial relationships. I don’t want to dishonour whom I am struggling with at this time, so I won’t dwell on it here in my recap of Exodus but the parallel between God’s love towards an unfaithful Israel is not lost on me. In fact, I continue to move forward, always pressing towards the goal, which is Christ embodied in me. Sometimes it’s several steps back before taking a half step forward but if Israel’s narrative teaches me one thing, it’s that God continues to be faithful to those who’s heart is sincere. And my heart, although rebellious at times, is sincere.

So aside from the continual self-centred way in which I read Exodus, there were some remarkably tender moments that gave me a greater glimpse of God’s character, which I will share for the remainder of my [brief] writing.

Even before approaching the Scripture, part of my assignment was to read chapter 9 from the book, How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth, about the Law given to the Israelites through Moses. If only I had read this earlier in life, I would have wasted less time believing the doctrine that God was a kill-joy. In reading the textbook, I gained a favourable understanding of what the Law meant specifically to the Israelites in the face of slavery and a polytheistic culture and it causes me to re-examine how I relate to the judgement and violence of God that is evidenced in the Old Testament.

I understand the hard-line of God. In personality, I would lean more towards Drill Sergeant than Counsellor or Social Worker. I understand that God spoke a command, the people disobeyed and they were judged, often immediately. I understand that, I agree with it, and often I live my life by that harsh standard, but I missed the reasons why God offered the Law in the first place. The Law is not an arbitrary list of do’s and don’ts that God made up to cause us to fail. He did not set up for failure, as I have longed believed, thinking that the law was given to show us our shortcomings and then to offer our solution in Christ. True as that may be, it was not God’s sole purpose in providing the Law. The Law was a covenant that God instituted with his chosen people (from whom we are spiritual descendants). It was love and a desire to be connected by relationship with his people that God expressed his Law to Moses. The law let us know the extent to where his involvement to our lives would permeate, which in fact was every facet of life. God loves us and wants us to love him and love each other because individually and corporately, he loves us. The Law tells us how to do that.

I find it ironic that I’ve given lip-service to the very thought, but I’ve never let the impact of what I said register in my core belief about God. A dear friend, whom was sharing personal struggles with me regarding her marriage was frustrated by the lack of insight her husband had in knowing how to love her. I remember asking her why was she surprised that she had to clearly explain to her husband steps in showing love to her when the Bible is God’s communication to us, explaining how to love him because we are not so inclined to do so on our own. And even if we are inclined [to love God], we are at a loss as to how that would look. I told her that because God has not been ambiguous in telling us to how to relate to him, she should feel no shame in clearly communicating with her husband how to love her best in a way that she’ll understand and respond.

Now onto the Scripture…

Exodus 17:14

Despite what I just said about God not being ambiguous while communicating with his people, I struggle with a personal word from God. Oh, I know the Bible is God’s inspired word for me, but I long to know God’s inspired word to me. Exodus 17:14 is one of those verses where I imagine the scene so completely that I put myself right there in that place. Picture it. God is speaking with Moses on the hill, overlooking the valley of Rephidim…

Okay, so I don’t actually know it was a valley but the pictures that play in my mind as I visualize the OT narratives are remarkably similar to the pictures my Sunday School teachers used to tell us the story for the first time, and I remember the battle being fought on a plain in the valley. As I visualize the scene, I see Moses wearing a billowing cream-colored tunic, which is blowing in the dry desert wind. The dress-like tunic stays down because of the weight of his sash, that is dark-colored, probably brown or rust. His hands are stretched out and he is holding the Staff of the Lord in his right hand. His hair is completely white and half way down his back, and also blowing in the breeze (similar to Gandalf in Lord of the Rings). On either side are two men in crouching positions, their backs arched just enough to be a resting place for Moses’ arms. They are standing at the edge of a cliff, one more step and they would most likely fall to their death because of the incredible height. The battle is finished and Israel has won victory over the Amalekites. The men crouching beside Moses stand up and walk off the stiff, aching muscles and Moses is left alone with the LORD. The LORD has a word and it isn’t for Moses, no this word is for Joshua, the one that was physically battling the enemy. Not only does God tell Moses to tell Joshua, but to make certain that Joshua knows and hears this, God insists that Moses write it on a scroll AND to make sure Joshua hears it.

I appreciate the concern that God has for Joshua because if the Lord has done that for others, i.e. Joshua, then he can do the same for me. Not only did God have a message for Joshua, it was specific. I believe that God knew that Joshua was going to struggle with the Amalekites again and again. It’s human nature to become discouraged when we face an enemy again and again without being freed from it, so God wanted Joshua to know that the enemy would one day be blotted out from under heaven. It was written down to Joshua could reference it again, to hear the words from God again when the day came that he was discouraged.

As I said in the my introduction, I read Exodus during an on-going struggle to which God has given me a specific word, but it doesn’t seem to be coming true. The review of this portion of the Scripture specifically reminds me that God does and will communicate specifically with me AND that his word is true. Unlike Joshua, at hearing this word from God, he is still living out the reality that looks a inconsistent with God’s promise, I have the benefit of reading the whole Scripture and watch God follow through his promise to Joshua and it is a reminder that God will also follow through on his word to me also.

Exodus 18

This portion of Scripture is noteworthy to me because of the in-law relationship that is described. Moses obviously has deep appreciation and respect for his father-in-law. There is a deficit in my own in-law relationship but again, this passage offers hope because of the glimpse of a good relationship can work. I’m not going to say anything more about that.

Moses

Moses is clearly favoured by God. What God accomplished through Moses are arguably some of the events that made the most impact both for that generation and every subsequent one to come, our own included. For those that aspire to leadership, it’s possible and probable to compare ourselves to Moses and come up short. In my own case, my comparison chart would probably read, “Not rated”, much like my Wii Tennis scores compared to my 8-year old son.

Moses wasn’t always Moses and he too went through some refining moments, some of which are narrated and scholars have picked apart and broken down. For example, his cowardness in the face of Hebrew taunting and running away after killing an Egyptian slave driver, or his four initial refusals of God’s calling. I’ve read commentaries on those events and appreciate that even the great Moses made mistakes at the beginning but what I noticed in particular during my most recent reading of Exodus was his change from insecurity to security and assurance in God.

A person who is insecure relies heavily on how others think and feel about them. It’s difficult to maintain stability because people are complex and change their thinking based on too many outside variables to effectively control. Insecurity inhibits a person’s ability to be effective and a catalyst for positive impact. At the beginning of Moses’ leadership, he was insecure and not as effective as he later became. I was intrigued by the change, not that Scripture noted the change in so many words. I noticed the effects and it’s the in-between stuff not expressly written that cause me to mull over what changed for Moses.

To explain what I am trying to communicate, first I have to refer to the Scripture passages/verses that are evidence of the ‘before’ transformation:


Exodus 4:29-5:3 and 5:19-23 – previous to this exchange between Moses & the Israelites and Moses & Pharaoh, is the calling of Moses by God and subsequent four refusals by Moses to God; eventually Moses is obedient and travels back to Egypt. The passage picks up with Moses [and Aaron] telling the Israelites that they have been sent by God and God will deliver them. The people believe and worship God. Moses feels pretty good, feels confident and goes to Pharaoh to ask him to let the people go.

Uh oh! Events do not go smoothly for Moses and Pharaoh is angry that Moses even asked so makes it harder for the Israelite slaves to complete their daily tasks. The Israelites are now angry, they disbelieve God will deliver them and rebuke Moses. Moses, feeling insecure, and believing his worth is caught up in how the Israelites respond to him, faces the Lord and places the blame back on the Lord. In essence, he’s a whiner.

Exodus 6:9-12 – Moses is again inhibited in his role because of the significance he places on how the Israelites perceive him, rather than how God is willing to use him.

Exodus 14:10-15 – Just prior to this passage, God has indeed led the people out of Egypt but He has one last lesson he wants to teach the Egyptians and tells Moses of his plan. The Israelites are overcome with terror and whine to Moses that he made a mistake by leading them into the desert. They even have the audacity to reminisce about the ‘good ole days’ of Egyptian slavery. Moses, afraid that he is losing his leadership edge, pleads with the people to put their trust in God, he assures them that God will deliver them [again].

I can’t help but be a little stunned by God’s reaction to Moses’ passionate plea to the people. God rebukes Moses, essentially saying, “What are you doing standing there? Get a move on.” I thought Moses was being inspiring but God obviously saw through his stalling technique and false bravado and told him to lead, not talk about it.

Stalling, waiting for affirmation over and over again is not what God wants from us. What if Abraham had waited when God called him and told him to, “Go to the land I will show you.” Abraham would have been stuck in Mesopotamia for a long time because it wasn’t until 14 years later (or so) that God heard from Abraham again. We demonstrate faith in God when we do what he tells us to do.

Exodus 15:22-25 – It wasn’t long after a miraculous deliverance from the pursuit of the Egyptians before the Israelites were grumbling again, this time for water. The Exodus writer doesn’t elaborate on Moses’ response, the text simply says, “Moses cried out to the Lord.” I don’t know if I’m reading something into the text, or not but it seems that from here on out, there is a shift in Moses’ attitude. It’s not always linear, moving forward along a continuous line but Moses doesn’t seem to take the attitude of the Israelite’s whining personally, instead he cries out to God.

Exodus 16:8 – If only others could hear the angelic choir singing, “Aha!” that I hear in this exchange between Moses and the Israelites. The people are complaining and Moses [aptly] asks them, why do you grumble to us? It’s God whom you grumble against. I can all but hear the triumphant confidence displayed in Moses. He begins to back away from his reliance of the people to affirm his worth, and instead sees things the way they really are. He doesn’t accept blame and shame that doesn’t belong to him. The shift in thinking is important for Moses’ leadership and his confidence before God.

Exodus 17:4 – In this passage, although the people complain, Moses doesn’t go before the Lord defeated, instead Moses is passionate about making a good plan but doesn’t blame God for putting him in this spot. I believe that this is a pivotal point for a leader, when a leader sees and acknowledges the problem (the people are thirsty), understands his role in it (as a leader, his job is find a solution to alleviate their thirst), cares about the stakeholders (the Israelite people) but doesn’t internalize the problem so that he bears the weight. Moses tells God honestly, the people are upset enough to do violence to him, so what can he do to help them?

Exodus 32:9-14 – In this passage, God is fed up with the Israelites and wants to destroy them and start fresh with Moses. Moses, in his earlier years, might very well have gone along with the change in plans. But here, Moses has matured in faith and leadership and rather than want to eliminate the people, Moses pleads on their behalf. Instead of allowing the people to have influence over Moses, Moses changes the table and exerts his rightful, confident influence for them to God. Moses doesn’t lie down and act like a coward here. No, he speaks with God as someone who has something valid to say and God listens to him!!!

Questions:
Aside from my own personal insight and application to Exodus, there were a number of questions that popped up that I am hard-pressed to ill-equipped to be able to answer myself:

1. Exodus 1:22 issues a decree from Pharaoh to all his people that every boy that is born must be thrown into the Nile. According to the narrative that ends in Genesis, Joseph, while acting as Governor, forced all of Egypt into slavery during the famine. So now, 400 years later, the Hebrews are still slaves, but have the national Egyptians been released and if so, does the decree apply to truly all of Egypt, or just the Hebrews?

2. What is the timeline for the plagues? It seems that much time has passed between each plague.

3. Is there greater significance and meaning of the Red Sea? Both the plague of the locusts and the Egyptians met their end in the Red Sea.

4. Exodus 14:2 – what or who is Baal Zephon? Is there a reason or significance to camping opposite Baal Zephon?

5. Not so much a question as a theme that I want to be on the look out for, is the theme of water, particularly the significance of 12 springs and 70 palm trees, noted in Exodus 15:27. Other recurrences of water theme, are the bitter water, water from a water (and later, water from a rock again).