The grass is always greener on the other side. As far as academic education was concerned, I was on the outside looking in. I have an experience of God, but I felt that I was missing something vital by lack of knowledge. I thought by participating in Bible School with bona fide Bible Instructors, I would experience an elation that [I thought] so far has eluded me. I learned differently. My short sprint along the sidelines of higher education has caused me to retreat back into the all-knowing arms of God. What I observed in the lives of some of the student body and in the required written works was knowledge without experience. They had the answers but lacked passion and zeal. I am reminded of the story of Mary, Martha and Jesus. “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.” To put it in other words, “Scholar, Scholar, you are consumed with the pursuit of knowledge, but only one thing is needed [to sit at the feet of Jesus and experience him.]” I am also reminded by the Paul’s writing, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”
This week, dated February 7, 2010, one of the posted secrets found on the Post Secret blog was from a fellow that said, “the real reason I backed out of seminary is that I knew it would destroy my belief in God.” I wondered how a married gay man, in a homosexual relationship for more than 20 years could graduate with a Masters of Divinity from Harvard University, know so much about the Old Testament but not know God personally. How could noted theologians with written volumes penned by them, know so much but lack expressive awe at the wonder of God’s design? Why are written works dry and stale? Yes, the books and written works educate people but they do little else to inflame a passion for the subject of their writing. I had a fantasy to enter the holy land of academia and be filled with the spirit by being in the epicentre of Bible understanding but what I found was the disillusion that knowledge breeds cynicism and apathy and speaking for the sake of speaking but not really experiencing God in a meaningful way. I am concerned for my son that some of these students will one day be his Pastor.
Let me clarify and state clearly that Bible knowledge and education is not negative in every way. Wiser men and women have gone before me and helped shape my experience of God. I appreciate Jerry Pauls and Johnny Cisneros because their passion, enthusiasm, and experience of Jesus act as bookends for their considerable knowledge and education. Others, whom I do not have personal interaction, also display an appropriate outward expression towards the subject of their academic pursuit but I argue that academic rhetoric does not encourage a personal experience of God.
Academic rhetoric reduces God as someone omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent, in other words, someone that is clearly removed and far above humans. However, in class Jerry offered a different aspect of God, and that as defined by relationship with his creation, namely human beings. Revolutionary? Perhaps to some, but not to those who have experienced God in a relationship. Last week, I was having the very same theological conversation with my son - he’s 8. I impressed on him that although God is all of those things - omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent he is first about relationship with us. That kind of knowledge is transformational and experiential. It doesn’t allow the person who grips this truth to remain as they were before.
Even as I write, I wonder to myself, “What’s my beef?” I think it in part has to do with the academic culture itself. Each generation is changing, but the institution of education hasn’t done much changing since inception. Students learn how to write a paper (double-spaced, 12-point font, avoid personal pronouns). Students learn how to read their instructor better than they learn to read Bible and discern truth. Students learn how to cite references and only use credible and proven references but where are original thought and personal revelation and experience? John wrote, “Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded…,” why does the academic community believe that Jesus has stopped displaying miracles to modern-day disciples?
The truth is, I feel foolish for aspiring to be something I’m not called to be. I am not a scholar and clearly the arena where I will serve in ministry will not be in academia. I feel as if I’ve been rebuked by the LORD himself for not believing him when he says to me, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great, unsearchable things you do not know.” Much of what I’ve heard in academic teaching has only been affirming what the Lord has personally already told me. Why do I mistrust what the Lord says to me? Why do I need validation from an academic body? Why, why, why, why, why? I am rebuked and ashamed and I must confess the misuse of the spiritual gifts the Lord is developing in me, and that the gift of revelation. I am thankful for affirmation and consensus from Godly (and knowledgeable) men & women, just so I know that I’m on the right track but I’ve been worshipping academia as if it was the golden calf.
Oh, I have loved/am continuing to love dipping my toes into the world of academic knowledge. I feel privileged for the opportunity. It has been a worthwhile experience and I will take away much. I have undoubtedly increased knowledge so that my experience with and of the Lord will be greater and more enriched. I have also seen the faces of the church that will stand in the generations to come. I can pray for them by name, asking God to increase not only their knowledge but more importantly their experience of him. I am thankful to God for letting me experience the joy of going to school and the frustration in learning that it wasn’t all that I fantasized. He is always so patient with me, allowing me to test every boundary, so that I’m certain once again all I need is him.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
What's in a Name?
I was about 10 weeks pregnant with my first child at the time. Gary and I hadn’t told anybody yet. Well actually, we had told some people, but only random strangers. We enjoyed having a secret; something to share with each other that was just ours. Nobody knew …and then a friend popped by the apartment and he saw a baby naming book lying on the coffee table. He correctly made the connection and he told two people, who told two people and so on. It wasn’t too long before almost everyone knew and it wasn’t a secret any longer. Almost immediately, we were asked the question, “What are you going to name the baby?” Hmmm, that was a difficult question. Baby naming is not as easy a task as one might think. Do you pick a random name from a book? After a deceased relative? After someone famous? Perhaps a Biblical name (for those that are a little more spiritual than the rest)? There’s a lot of pressure to pick the right name. And then when you finally pick a name, you have to sound it out with the last name; does it have the right feel when said out loud? What are the possible nicknames? How much difficulty will your child have in spelling their own name throughout their life? The list of questions, possibilities and scenarios that played through my mind as we picked the name for our child was long. However, never in our entire baby-naming decision making did I ever consider that the name we choose will bear our son’s character.
Current baby-naming practices are far removed from naming practices in the ancient world. Names indicated a person’s character. To know a person’s name was akin to an intimate exchange. God is one God who is called by many names; each name describes an attribute of him. In Genesis, we are introduced to him by several names, but not by YHWH, the name he calls himself. Yahweh, or LORD as our English Bible distinguishes it, means ‘the One who causes to exist’. The LORD introduced his name to Moses when Moses questions the LORD as to why God sent him to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave Egypt. The audacity of the request only fuelled Pharaoh’s anger and their oppression was made worse. The LORD’s response is to tell Moses his name, satisfying the complaint that he will act to fulfill the covenant he made with Abraham.
In class, we discussed covenant as resolution to exile crisis. However, before introducing crisis and resolution, before rectifying the “aloneness” of man, before all of that, God whose name is YHWH, created male and female to bear his image, his character, which is covenantal. Covenant is the basic issue of human life because covenanting, or “othering” to borrow a term from Walter Brueggemann, is part of our DNA. Brueggerman further writes, “this work of othering is inescapable because this process of interaction is the awesome truth of our life.” We can’t escape it.
There is no where we can go without encountering YHWH. Psalm 139 echoes feelings of elation and frustration in the totality of the LORD’s active presence. The Psalmist writes about the security of being hemmed in. The words conjure up visual images of being cocooned, warmth and acceptance, and in almost the same breath, the feeling of suffocation by not being able to loosen the presence, no matter where you go. A covenant relationship encompasses the life of those defined by the covenant; both parties live in relation to each other, unless there is a breach in the covenant.
Certainly this is an awesome theology if lived out to the fullest extent of the covenant promises; a theology that acts as a magnet to attract others. It’s not really a stretch for the mind to understand why humankind yearns for a covenantal agreement with the LORD. For those whose eyes are opened to discern the fallen/exiled state of humankind, we acknowledge we need a greater hope if there is supposed to be more. The amazing, incredible, radical, revolutionary aspect about the covenant is that the LORD enters into a covenant with us. The words of David come to mind, “What is man that you are mindful of him?” It truly is a mystery, and yet, going back to the beginning at the creation of male and female in the image of God, the LORD, we have our answer. God is relational and he chose us. Awesome!
During the discussion in class, a student offered the observation that perhaps we enter into a covenantal agreement without understanding the stipulations and requirements. Indeed. Marriage is the most formal covenant I’ve entered. I was 21; in hindsight, just a child to be able to make such a significant decision. Through fits and starts and near dissolution, I’ve learned a great deal about covenant and how serious the LORD considers the pledge. Ignorance does not release you from the covenant.
As we’ve read and reflected on the response by the exiled people, they are ignorant and perplexed. In my mind, I hear the whine of a child say, “But, I didn’t kno-oh!” And then, they want to know is that is for them? Is the game over? Has the covenant been nullified?
If we refer back to Leviticus, the LORD promises that he will remember his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and he will remember the land if they confess their sin and humble themselves. All of the curses outlined in verses 14-39 of the same chapter have come true. They have been scattered, humiliated, made to suffer 7x over but still there is hope. Additionally, the Davidic covenant establishes a King will reign from David’s line forever. The promise of an everlasting kingdom is not dependant on whether the Israelites keep the conditions of the covenant. So there is hope and restoration promised throughout the covenant despite their exile.
The question that still needs to be answered is where is the presence of the LORD? The disobedience which caused the exile nullified the portion of the covenant which promised God’s presence among them, so a new covenant is required. Jeremiah makes a proclamation of a new covenant, which is futuristic. It’s relevant to note the approximate date that Jeremiah was prophet to Judah. His prophetic ministry ends shortly after the capture of Jerusalem to Babylon, and the destruction of the temple. This is extremely hopeful news. Even as the old covenant was being broken, the LORD provides a new covenant, which reinforces his intention to be personal with his people. No longer will the law [of the covenant] be written on tablets of stone, known only by the officiating priests, but the new covenant includes everyone, from the least of them to the greatest.
This is good news! We are the church, we are the temple! No longer is there a circumcision of the body, but we have a circumcision of the heart. Our outward appearance should be modest, but we are no longer defined by physical appearance but by the fruit of the spirit, and we have all been made ministers of the covenant. Each one has the ability to know God. What puzzles me is why there isn’t a great return to the LORD in light of this new theology, the new way of thinking and relating to God. The presence of the LORD is among us. Emmanuel was the name given to Jesus – God with us. He made his dwelling with humans, and then he promised the Spirit when he ascended back to heaven. The covenant, although not completely fulfilled is imminent.
YHWH was the LORD’s response to Moses’ complaint. Emmanuel answers the question, where is God’s presence? What’s in a name? A lot is turns out. In the LORD’s name we have the answer to our crisis and the promise of a covenant fulfilled.
Current baby-naming practices are far removed from naming practices in the ancient world. Names indicated a person’s character. To know a person’s name was akin to an intimate exchange. God is one God who is called by many names; each name describes an attribute of him. In Genesis, we are introduced to him by several names, but not by YHWH, the name he calls himself. Yahweh, or LORD as our English Bible distinguishes it, means ‘the One who causes to exist’. The LORD introduced his name to Moses when Moses questions the LORD as to why God sent him to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave Egypt. The audacity of the request only fuelled Pharaoh’s anger and their oppression was made worse. The LORD’s response is to tell Moses his name, satisfying the complaint that he will act to fulfill the covenant he made with Abraham.
In class, we discussed covenant as resolution to exile crisis. However, before introducing crisis and resolution, before rectifying the “aloneness” of man, before all of that, God whose name is YHWH, created male and female to bear his image, his character, which is covenantal. Covenant is the basic issue of human life because covenanting, or “othering” to borrow a term from Walter Brueggemann, is part of our DNA. Brueggerman further writes, “this work of othering is inescapable because this process of interaction is the awesome truth of our life.” We can’t escape it.
There is no where we can go without encountering YHWH. Psalm 139 echoes feelings of elation and frustration in the totality of the LORD’s active presence. The Psalmist writes about the security of being hemmed in. The words conjure up visual images of being cocooned, warmth and acceptance, and in almost the same breath, the feeling of suffocation by not being able to loosen the presence, no matter where you go. A covenant relationship encompasses the life of those defined by the covenant; both parties live in relation to each other, unless there is a breach in the covenant.
Certainly this is an awesome theology if lived out to the fullest extent of the covenant promises; a theology that acts as a magnet to attract others. It’s not really a stretch for the mind to understand why humankind yearns for a covenantal agreement with the LORD. For those whose eyes are opened to discern the fallen/exiled state of humankind, we acknowledge we need a greater hope if there is supposed to be more. The amazing, incredible, radical, revolutionary aspect about the covenant is that the LORD enters into a covenant with us. The words of David come to mind, “What is man that you are mindful of him?” It truly is a mystery, and yet, going back to the beginning at the creation of male and female in the image of God, the LORD, we have our answer. God is relational and he chose us. Awesome!
During the discussion in class, a student offered the observation that perhaps we enter into a covenantal agreement without understanding the stipulations and requirements. Indeed. Marriage is the most formal covenant I’ve entered. I was 21; in hindsight, just a child to be able to make such a significant decision. Through fits and starts and near dissolution, I’ve learned a great deal about covenant and how serious the LORD considers the pledge. Ignorance does not release you from the covenant.
As we’ve read and reflected on the response by the exiled people, they are ignorant and perplexed. In my mind, I hear the whine of a child say, “But, I didn’t kno-oh!” And then, they want to know is that is for them? Is the game over? Has the covenant been nullified?
If we refer back to Leviticus, the LORD promises that he will remember his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and he will remember the land if they confess their sin and humble themselves. All of the curses outlined in verses 14-39 of the same chapter have come true. They have been scattered, humiliated, made to suffer 7x over but still there is hope. Additionally, the Davidic covenant establishes a King will reign from David’s line forever. The promise of an everlasting kingdom is not dependant on whether the Israelites keep the conditions of the covenant. So there is hope and restoration promised throughout the covenant despite their exile.
The question that still needs to be answered is where is the presence of the LORD? The disobedience which caused the exile nullified the portion of the covenant which promised God’s presence among them, so a new covenant is required. Jeremiah makes a proclamation of a new covenant, which is futuristic. It’s relevant to note the approximate date that Jeremiah was prophet to Judah. His prophetic ministry ends shortly after the capture of Jerusalem to Babylon, and the destruction of the temple. This is extremely hopeful news. Even as the old covenant was being broken, the LORD provides a new covenant, which reinforces his intention to be personal with his people. No longer will the law [of the covenant] be written on tablets of stone, known only by the officiating priests, but the new covenant includes everyone, from the least of them to the greatest.
This is good news! We are the church, we are the temple! No longer is there a circumcision of the body, but we have a circumcision of the heart. Our outward appearance should be modest, but we are no longer defined by physical appearance but by the fruit of the spirit, and we have all been made ministers of the covenant. Each one has the ability to know God. What puzzles me is why there isn’t a great return to the LORD in light of this new theology, the new way of thinking and relating to God. The presence of the LORD is among us. Emmanuel was the name given to Jesus – God with us. He made his dwelling with humans, and then he promised the Spirit when he ascended back to heaven. The covenant, although not completely fulfilled is imminent.
YHWH was the LORD’s response to Moses’ complaint. Emmanuel answers the question, where is God’s presence? What’s in a name? A lot is turns out. In the LORD’s name we have the answer to our crisis and the promise of a covenant fulfilled.
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